How to appear unique in a tasting room

Top most heard lines in tasting rooms all over the Okanagan Valley, or any wine region, for that matter:

• I don't drink red wine, or white wine, or rose, or some other pedantic line of someone who has convinced themselves they dislike an ENTIRE style of wine. Every time I hear this I am smiling while I politely say "ok" while simultaneously grinding my teeth. I may need to purchase a mouth guard at some point.
• Oh, I couldn't possibly spit this out, what a waste! (after offering a spittoon or spit bucket) No, please do, because you're drunk. This just in - it's actually perfectly acceptable etiquette to do so, because you're probably going to remember what you tried, where you went and who you spoke to! And, you'll be far less annoying to tasting room managers and associates every where you go. You're welcome. 
• Oh, there's no way a wine would last that long in my house (after sharing the cellar worthy wines in the line up). Sigh. Maybe you should exercise some will power and actually do something outside of your predictable day to day life and SURPRISE yourself! Wow, doesn't that wine taste amazing after lying it down for awhile - yes, we were being honest that it will in fact get better and gain more complexity over time!
• "It's ok". Is it, though? Because I talk to and meet 10-50 times more people than you do in a day and can read body language like a book. I know for certain you don't actually like that wine. Here's a secret - I won't be offended if you don't! 
• There's a tasting fee? I'll pass. Really? Want to know the scary amount of bottles we go through in a year just pouring samples? Do you feel you're that important and deserving that it should be free for you, only for you to walk out and not purchase a damn thing? Do you expect your lunch to be free, too?

All sarcasm and facetious tone aside; I completely understand most of these mild irritations stem from a genuine lack of awareness and knowledge. For the most part, I respect that not everyone will understand the etiquette in using a spittoon - or be confident enough to ask for one. Sometimes, wine can be intimidating.

What I find is really lacking in the general public is a genuine curiosity to learn, educate themselves and be open minded. It really does baffle me how little people want to know, and this doesn't just apply to wine - a TOTAL recreational activity and hobby.

If you want to appear keen, curious, and hey - unique - to the staff in the tasting rooms and wineries you visit - ask the following questions and you'll be pleasantly surprised with what's thrown your way.

• ask how the winemaker achieves balance (when acid, tannin and alcohol are all in perfect harmony, this is what we call a balanced wine)
• ask about the terroir, and their opinion on expression of place
• smell and taste the wine - no REALLY. Show a genuine interest that you're really engaged and interested in their style and what they're trying to achieve
• if you don't like it - don't be a afraid to say so, and the reason why you don't
• ask about the history and story of the winery

Ultimately, go there with the intention to learn. Don't treat it as an opportunity to get day drunk with your bro's disguised as "wine touring", if you feel like we're humouring you...it's because we are. 

And if you don't buy - for the love of God, pay the tasting fee.

Happy wine touring!